Aita for not paying for my oldest daughters wedding dress reddit

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• But my wife said that there's too much bad blood and I should just attend the wedding quietly for my daughter's sake. My oldest daughter is 20 and stays in the dorm rooms at college and comes home when there’s no classes. His girlfriend at the time got pregnant right after they graduated high school and I practically raised their baby girl up until they both graduated college and got jobs. It’s low-cut, with a thigh-high slit and a sheer back. She passed away two years ago so she will can not attend our daughters wedding that will be in 2025. Cutting a cake is not a wedding. It means so much to me. She made sure to express that to me multiple times. I have no problem with this. While she was in with the consultant trying on the dresses, I looked around the boutique and saw dresses with lace, full skirts, and sparkle. Ally spent 300$ on wedding decorations and clothes including my bridesmaid dress and my 5 month old dress because she wanted her to be the ring bearer. AITA for using my daughter’s college fund on her sister’s tuition. AITA for telling my daughter I will help her out with her next wedding? Not the A-hole. I was shocked and refused. The fact your step daughter wants to change it is completely out of line. My second dress was free (my cousin gave it to me. I (54M) have two children (23F and 21M) with my wife (52F). mentally_messy102518. Second prom cost about $200 (my date paid for the limo. Some context: My (30F) best friend Dan (30M) got married to Lauren (27F) yesterday. We've always been super close, so I'm thrilled for her, but honestly, the whole wedding planning thing has been a bit much. Marissa's father is, to be blunt, a The wedding is in the beginning of August. Help keep the sub engaging! Don’t downvote OOP: I am not homophobic. Throwaway. My partner and I are getting married in February. For background: I got married 2 years ago to my husband and we practically had little to no expenses. I might be the ah for demanfing that she pay me for a new dress just because she wore this dress once. I was so lucky to have found what I was looking for. •. A few months ago Olivia asked my wife if she could use the dress for her wedding and my wife gave her the dress so Olivia could get it fitted with plenty of time. I made my wife's dress since she couldn't find one that fit her, her style and our budget. Her wedding dress had been bought and my baby never got to wear it. As for Olivia's dress, my wife spent the time leading up to the wedding making new pieces and attached them to Olivia's dress herself. She never made restitution for the dress she ruined. My step-daughter was assigned as a male at birth. Reply. I ended up attending the wedding alone and left once dinner was done. I (54f) have two daughters A (27f) and L (23f). Carly sometimes babysits her cousins on the weekends so that my sister and BIL can go out, usually for 3-4 hours. My daughter didn’t accept the divorce well. After 20 years you have kinda run that argument into the ground. AITA for not paying for my daughter's wedding when I said I would before? This dude is messy and creepy. You put money aside for a wedding. AITA for wearing a "gold" dress to a wedding? Not the A-hole. aitatadad83772. I have gotten direct messages telling me that I am right not to give my daughter the dress because they are homophobic and think she should not be getting married. Several gifts including, helping her find a nice YTA for suggesting money earmarked for Jane's wedding go to your daughter's wedding. AITA for refusing to pay for my daughter's wedding because she won't let me walk her down the aisle? I'm a 48-year-old man and my 19-year-old daughter has always been an independent thinker. Reply reply. NTA. And I get it, daughter more than likely has legit reasons to not like his wife, but you still don’t give a middle finger to the person paying for it. So her wedding dress size reflects that. When the kids were young, my parents set up education funds for both of them, which was very generous of them. So a few years ago me and N (my then fiance) got engaged. Me (f29) and my STBH (m33) are getting married soon. The oldest daughter is straight-laced and is doing the whole get married and have a traditional life. $5,000 is a drop in the bucket compared to the amount she paid for your college. We are not particularly well off but managed to scrape together almost $30k for each of our children by the time they were mid teens. Not a straight wedding. Kris and I use to be very close but as she has gotten older I feel like we drifted apart. I paid for my best friend wedding dress when her MIL wanted to pay for it. Last week my friends, my aunt and I went dress shopping. Naturally I was a little sad but my aunt informed me that my cousin (her daughter, 27F, let's call her May) wanted to surprise me by buying my dress since I helped her out quite a lot (That's a different and long story). Agree. 101K subscribers in the redditonwiki community. Her dad wants to do something nice for her. You agreed to keep it for her wedding, did you say at the time only if you marry someone of the opposite gender no. Good enough that when she got engaged, I assumed that I would either be MOH or at least a bridesmaid. AITA for paying for my daughters wedding but not my sons? Not the A-hole. When our daughter (24) was 17/18 she became involved in a very cliquey group of Do not give her money. Your daughter had a reasonable expectation, you had agreed to keep the 20k for her wedding. I (27M) have loved making stuff since I was a kid and I've worked with everything from wood to paint to welding and even fabric, which is what this situation concerns. Your sister for making a demand to pay for half of her dress. lalapocalypse. but she picked a dress that she liked so much and said that "she always pictured her son's bride in it" mom and friends thought this line was creepy. He is a jerk who cheats on her and treats her poorly, but she is too blind to see it. I have two daughters, my biological daughter Alicia (6) and my stepdaughter Marissa (14). AITA? Maria lost her stepsister. This dress is one of the remaining and very meaningful momentos and memories you shared with your daughter. Yes, I get it, is her wedding and she can be mean to whoever she wants or rude, but she also should not expect support from the one guy she is doing it to. We told her that that’s ridiculous and she should try to pay AITA-throw-wedding. first prom cost about $120. I will link the dress, I put gold in quotation markers because I think it's more bronze/orange but maybe I'm splitting hairs and am TA. I might be being inconsiderate of my daughter, making me the asshole. That's a $10k admission charge to a wedding. I totally get that it's her wedding and that I'm not entitled to be in her wedding party, and eventually got over it. It was later that night when I got the idea to make her pay for another wedding dress. Revolutionary_Age142. Now we've been arguing about my wedding dress, This might sound She insisted to come along for wedding dress shopping. First by thinking a dress can ruin a wedding (celebrating a union with her life partner who she loves should be the focus), and Second by the aforementioned snobbery/greed. This-Rock-4028. Wedding planning has so far been going alright except for few things he and I argued about like the venue and flower girl. I'd pay the $5,000 and write on the check - reimbursement for college tuition. And now she's losing the family wedding dress. ) Includes costs for nails, shoes, minimal makeup. I have received so many messages making assumptions about what kind of a father I was and attacking me for not enabling a disrespectful adult. Wearing a wedding dress is not a wedding. Jul 28, 2023 · Aita for Not Paying for My Oldest Daughter’s Wedding Dress is a heart-rending story of a family struggle against poverty and lack of resources. I’m all for people wearing what they want, but our family is quite conservative ADMIN MOD. When my daughter asked for my opinion on these dresses, I was honest. A handmade dress can be beautiful, but wedding dresses are very technical and this "simple" dress had a train, embroidered overlay, sash and even straps that were apparently worth taking, and it's (presumably) over 30 years old. AITA for not giving my daughter her education fund money? Asshole. I felt like I’d already done and spent more than enough for their family that there was no reason for me to. AITA for forcing my friends to pay for my ruined wedding dress? Not the A-hole. I met John in December 2021 and we got engaged around two months ago. From Maria's POV, you're taking a terrible situation filled with loss and grief, and twisting the knife- making her lose even more. AITA for making my oldest pay back a 3,000 dollar dress she ruined. Between her loans and a relatively low salary, she doesn’t have very much money to pay for her wedding. Since the wedding is not until May though, she should look at getting it altered in the winter months. All of my extended family chose to attend my daughter's wedding over my stepdaughter's. In exchange, my sister gives her €30-€40, cash in hand. She even went as far as to say "this is a wedding, not a strip club I don't like it". My wife and I always expected our kids to attend college and then graduate school, as Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. There was another dress that I had been eyeing that cost a bit less, but I chose the other dress over it. The Real Housewives of Atlanta The Bachelor Sister Wives 90 Day Fiance Wife Swap The Amazing Race Australia Married at First Sight The Real Housewives of Dallas My 600-lb Life Last Week Tonight with John Oliver YTA, and you're homophobic. As a response, I told her that if she feels that way, then I won't be paying for her wedding. Having a first dance is not a wedding. confusedparent2. (2) It is a special day for her as it's her only daughters only wedding (and I am an only child) and she is paying for the majority of the small wedding (approx 2k) Help keep the sub engaging! Don’t downvote assholes! It has been a day and my daughter has still not even bothered to respond back to me. At the core of the story is Aita, a single mother in an ultama, a rural neighbourhood in Mexico where life is hard. I talked about it with my fiance, and he agreed that Silena should pay for the dress since he ruined the first one. 7. Should've paid attention to what your money was being spent on and 2. Two years ago Selena got married and although I was NTA. It's true, I don't "own" her, I also don't owe her a fully-funded wedding. People cross-post…. ADMIN MOD. I took her with me and my mom and friends. THIS SUBREDDIT IS FOR A PODCAST CALLED Reddit On Wiki, THAT READS REDDIT STORIES. This led to a heated debate within the family and left We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Perhaps her 2nd marriage. She can pay for her own wedding if she's insistent on this stance. AITA for refusing to make my SIL a wedding dress? Not the A-hole. I didn't even check gifts until after the honeymoon. I have her $5,000 for a Oct 11, 2023 · The Wedding Dress Dilemma. . She fell in love with this designer gown – we're talking thousands of I was incredibly disappointed. My sister (f36) lives nearby with her husband and two kids, (f9 and m7). Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. My girlfriend is also coming with us and I'm paying for her and her 5 y/o daughter. She began to protest and said I am affecting her education and that I cannot do that. I got them a good gift and a chunk of change and deemed it enough. However, my brother "Steve" (25M) is marrying his girlfriend "Natalie" (26F) of 4 years later in the fall. All the outfits were supposed to be dramatic, even my brother's wife said she didn't mind if they didn't My sister helped with my hen weekend a little with organisation and not financially. I pay her expenses of cell phone, car insurance, and a couple other small things. Finally and thirdly, she's clearly not mature mentally enough to even have a wedding. There’s no way the red wine wave was an accident. My job was to hold the train, having to go to the bathroom but couldn't and I think I wore a white dress. I was a bridesmaid at my cousin's wedding. Keep your money for someone who respects your basic human rights. My 19 y/o daughter asked me if her boyfriend (of 15 months) could come with us on vacation. This past May my 22 year old graduated from college. My husband and I got her a brand new car. Bethany and I are white while my husband and Maria are Mexican descent They have been in each other lives since they were 6 and 7 and overall the relationship is good until I’ve been this friend and it sucks. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I refuse to pay for my sister's dream wedding and only gave her 3k gift. But I don't see why you should have been buying the dress when paying for the actual wedding. At the time they started planning it A and her now fiancé had a lot of money and bought L a wedding dress worth hundred of thosands of dollars. Nta because her expectations are high and her attitude is rude. Second, if she hadn't been irresponsible she wouldn't have kids to worry about and get a job to help pay for the dress. AITA refusing to attend my sister's wedding for excluding my stepdaughter. I 32f have a step-daughter 14 female who I'll call Vivian. The issue is I’m paying for her wedding but I never paid anything for my sons. I wanted to confront my daughter and potentially not go to the wedding at all if my wife wasn't invited. My wife says refusing to pay is wrong and that I overreacted even though she's not been nice to me. She told me she can just up the size of it and I told her I would think The issue was that my daughter's wedding was happening in another state that is a 13 hour drive away. I have her $15,000 as help for the wedding. I support my daughter, I have just been surprised and am struggling. Help keep the sub engaging! AITA For Buying A Wedding Dress Back? I (25F) am not currently dating anybody. My daughter L and her fiancé have been planning their wedding since they were both 19. mookday233. Best man had taken them to my house. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I refused to give my deceased daughter's unworn wedding dress to my other daughter, even when she offered to pay for it. It’s £22000 that she wants us to pay for. I raised her to be independent and think for herself, which I've always appreciated. You might “respect same sex couples” but you sure as hell don’t respect your daughter. I was maybe 7 years old, it's a little difficult to remember because around that age I had been to another wedding for another cousin where I had worn pink (white dress with pink flower I think. AITA for not letting my niece wear white at my wedding? Not the A-hole POO Mode. I started dating my wife Natalie two and a half years ago, and we have been married for seven months. I (f38) am a single mom with my teenage daughter, Carly (f17). I bet after (at most) 1 year she would file for divorce It is also important to note that it was paid for completely by my mother and I, and in fact, my MIL did not pay for anything in our wedding, except for $200 towards our honeymoon, which I thanked her profusely for. Asshole. The parts that are not able to be put back on her dress, my wife is using them to make photo album covers for each of our kids. AITA for not attending my step daughter’s wedding? Not the A-hole. It turns out Emily's way over budget, and the main culprit is the dress. Edit 2: I feel the need to point out OP is a woman (28F) because people are misgendering her in the reply chain to this post. He’s been causing issues with me and his sister about this and has been slandering us This way my wife can get what she needs to repair her dress the best she can. I (m50) have a daughter “Kris” (f27) from my previous marriage. Now my daughter wants to wear the dress and I told her it wouldn’t be a good idea since she won’t be able to squeeze into it. When I went to prom (and I went twice, sophomore year and senior year), my first dress was 60 (loved that dress). I’ve never understood why people with a plus 1 act like they’re more important. She doesn't have an income source or financial stability that I do. Me and my sister do not make Carly (1) I included strawberries in my wedding cake plans knowing that my mom would be unable to eat them due to an allergy. She posted it thinking she was right and found out the exact opposite and now has a thorn in her ass. AITA? So, back to this wedding. And both of them wanted me to walk them down the aisle. 2) I am the only one in my family that can help her without growing in debt myself. Don’t let your folks push you into paying to keep the peace, what ADMIN MOD. Subreddit Announcements Happy Anniversary, AITA! Follow the link above to learn more Throwaway-8841. Kate has two daughters from her previous marriage, “Selena” (29F) and “Amy” (25F). My husband and I have two daughters, Opal and Amelia. Then she took a piece of my sister's wedding dress liner and made a slightly smaller flower, and sewed it on top. I don't want to come across as controlling or manipulative. My brother and his wife planned a winter wonderland wedding, everyone was supposed to be dressed in either silver, white or light blue to fit the theme. 2. If you're happy to be cordial, get the alterations you need done to the dress, deduct the cost from the $900 and pay what's left back. AITA not paying any more towards our daughter's wedding after she cut pieces off her mother's wedding dress for her own? + UPDATE . I'm feeling quite conflicted about this. While I agree that amount is ridiculous and you are in the right for no longer paying for the wedding/honey moon, you 1. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. AITA for not letting my step daughter wear a dress to my wedding. I was pregnant. My best friend and maid of honour helped me the most with everything. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: 2) refusing to pay for the lashes, knowing that my friend might not have the funds to do it herself. In my case, the situation revolved around my oldest daughter’s wedding dress. I might be risking my relationship with her and my fiance by insisting on having her pay. My little sister Emily's getting married in a few months. My SIL (F23) just got engaged recently, and is in a similar situation with her wedding. Wedding dresses often need to be taken in or out in certain parts of the dress to fit someone’s exact figure. We have a daughter “Lynn” (12F) together. I have Vivian with my fiancé 32m who will call John. Most assholes don’t like being called out for their bullshit. She ended up not asking me despite having a bridal party of 10, but I didn't say anything even though I was a little hurt. We just did a small wedding ceremony/celebration in my parents backyard and I used my moms old dress so our only expenses were really just food and photography. I am not going to just take this disrespect. Due to this, we saved $20,000 of the money we were gifted and just put it into savings. She got married at 25 to the love of her life. She altered my wedding dress and saved some of the liner. Too make a long story short my son was a teen dad. I (55M) have a daughter (29F) who is getting married next year. My oldest son is paying for himself and his 2 sons (7M, 5M), and I'm paying the costs for everyone else including my 30 y/o's fiancé and my 16 y/o sons’ best friend. My youngest is the opposite. My daughter (27F) is getting married in the fall. As the big day approached, tensions arose when I made the decision not to pay for her wedding dress. I give her gas money and money for other things if she needs it. I (58M, het dad) am supposed to pay for the wedding, that's what we agreed on. AITA for not paying for my daughter’s braces? I’m a 40F with three kids. I (46M) have been married to “Kate” (48F) for over a decade. AITA for going off on my soon-to be Husband for returning my wedding dress? Not the A-hole. My other family members were very generous. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: buying my daughter a $700 prom dress when mine and my husbands budget was $400. When I got married 7 years ago I paid $600 to have it altered because it was slightly big in some places. Opal and her fiance Jack passed away four years ago. When my children were born my husband and I were determined to put aside money for their university/weddings/lives. First, your cousin never asked for you to buy the dress before going to the store. My friend canceled a wedding once and we spent a whole day organizing a flower drop off to local hospitals, retirement homes, etc. I've found the perfect one but it was a couple hundreds over my budget. I was an involved dad when she was young and we were close. Just tell her that paying for her own gown will clear the debt she owes for your wife’s dress (she is never going to pay you anyway). I apologized for if I had ever come off as not supportive of her, as many comments said I sounded homophobic and I want to be AITA For Buying A Wedding Dress Back? I (25F) am not currently dating anybody. You have no problems with same sex couples so long as you're not related to them. He apologised because some weren't wrapped and he saw we had 2 pressure cookers and he took one and was giving me the money for it. Original post:AITA for not letting my elder daughter have my younger's wedding dress? Names have been changed, I'm 55 and Amelia is 32. However, we recently hit a bit of a snag. We got the save the date invitations a few days after I put the payments through my bank (they need to be approved, so no money has been paid yet). Tell her the truth. A wedding is a sacred commitment, including God or not, between two people who want to spend their lives together. I can't blame him - if he hadn't withdrawn college money because she was 'disrespectful' maybe she'd not have ended up in a toxic marriage aged 19. If she alters your dress to fit her, unless you're identical twins with the same body shape, she needs to pay for it to be fitted to you. Anyways my sister now is getting married and she wants my husband to pay for it. I thought the dress was somewhat creepy and None of them screamed "bride" to me. . You don't get a say on if your step daughter wants to invite her bio dad to her wedding. AITA for telling my daughter she should change her wedding dress to green? Not the A-hole. Help keep the sub engaging! If you can sink 200k on a wedding for your step daughter, you are worth so much more than this BS. The MOH and bride encouraged me to take the good room in the suite I was in bc I arrived first. I am now married to my wife (f45) and have a son (5). When she got married she took the flower out of my dress, made a flower from the left over liner of mine and added it to her Otherwise-Cycle-2441. But I did not relent and said she's not my business now. I still have it saved (a classic style that is not dated) to save as a family heirloom if/when my daughter gets married. She places a lot of emphasis on her upcoming wedding. Those are basic standards. However, you're also the AH because regardless of her motives she paid for your college tuition. Not the A-hole. This incident happened a few years ago but I was recently reminded of it and I want to take Reddit's judgment. My brother is getting married soon, and his fiancée chose a very revealing wedding dress. Help keep the sub engaging! Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ. My husband and I have 2 daughters 25 and 22. The drunk driver took away Lena, but YOU, the person she loves and trusts, are taking away the dress. Marriage lasted 3 years. This dress not only brought me closer to my husband, but my family too. AITA for not contributing to my daughter’s wedding. My oldest ( Bethany 16) has a step sibling ( Maria 14 almost 15). I literally did that with my wedding dress. Then she sewed it into the lining of my dress. My sister gave me her cream coloured prom dress, I added a few embellishments, and it was a lovely bridal dress. She should have discussed with you the budget for the dress and the wedding. I said that the dresses she picked out weren't fit for the wedding. But when she was in her teens I cheated on her mother. A place where it's obvious OP is the asshole. My sister, let's call her Ally, and her fiancé let's call him Daniel, had planned to get married at Daniel's parents house, his dad to officiate. She told me it was in a shop front in our local shopping centre. The No-Stage8446. I gave FMIL 3 days to pay me for a new wedding dress or else I the family a photo of her wearing it. I told her that it was not my responsibility to pay for her dress, and that she should either buy a cheaper one or ask our parents for money. My (M57) daughter (32) has been divorced thrice already. AITA For wearing a wedding dress to my brother's wedding? Not the A-hole. Tuesday Olivia asked me to go with her to pay some vendors, one of the stops was the tailor shop for a final fitting and pay the seamstress. Last night my fiancé and I are cleaning up after dinner and I received a call from the shop I ordered my dress from. Vivid_Promise_8476. Our parents had 50/50 custody, though I was always closer to our mother and Steve to our father. AITA for Warning My Brother’s Fiancé Her Wedding Dress Might Cause Problems? Asshole. She also asked me to pay for half of her wedding dress, which costs $10,000. AITA for skipping my daughter’s wedding. On Christmas Day my soon to be sister in law asked if her 5 year old daughter could wear a white dress to the wedding. She married the love of her life when she was 30. My daughter came over tonight and apologized for ignoring me, and explained that she had always thought she had been promised she could have the dress to own rather than borrow, so she was sad to have lost that dream. I refused and asked her to ask her "real Dad" (who refused to pay for it himself). The wedding is in the beginning of August. Well I bought the dress anyway since I'm the one paying for it after all. When Steve and I were 8, our parents (now 59M and 56F) divorced. When it comes to weddings, emotions can run high and expectations can often clash. If I didn't feel so strongly about the dress I would give it to her simply to spite them. Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. Olivia has asked for help paying for her wedding. This is nothing but a farce. I flew down from another state for a wedding I was in for my friend I’ve known for over 20 years. So, for her to ask if I would lend her my $4500 dream dress that she had no part in buying that I had custom made for myself NTA. JacquesBN. Tell them your answer is no, and stop pressuring you about it. She just got out of college and started work as a teacher. When her oldest daughter has dreams of getting married and having a grand wedding You made a promise to pay for her wedding under the expectation that you'd be allowed the same courtesies as anyone else - to bring your +1, and if 8ts not child free, to bring your child. zh hm ss fa xs wz to qf rh sy